I've managed to return to my fav coffee shop...Rembrandts. I banned it for a while due to budget constraints, but it inevitable draws me back. Usually it provides a great people watching background...not to mention that occasionally I run into long lost aquaitances here.

Rembrandts fascinates me. I love it, but there are parts I am disturbed by. It is too utopian. It is perfectly old, yet perfectly new. The music is great for everone. Not to mention the advertisement on the door "Botox for books"...offering 100% of profits for your facelift to go to a worthy cause!

Yet I always come back. I love the art. I love watching and imagining I'll run into interesting people.

Perhaps I dislike the perfection and the fact it is a cheap substitute with how I would rather be spending my evening: with friends. However, the graduate life lends little time to fellowship. This portion of my life only has a few months left however! Then I am on to freedom!

These last few weeks I have found myself challenged by the Bible Study Experiencing God. SOme parts of it are really good. However, I find myself not completely sure if I agree with it. Mainly, I guess because it promotes the premise that it will always be obvious where God is working and when he is speaking to you. Yet, it seems there are many occasions in the Bible where God is talking and his people miss it. His disciples didn't get it for a long time. I have often found in my life that the path I am to take isn't obvious. Instead, I have to seek it.

I find myself in that scenario now. For years, I have struggled and fought to prepare myself to go back to Africa. Now, I am unsure if that is what God has for me next. My heart breaks at the thought of not going. Yet, I feel so drawn to starting some sort of childrens ministry...for the kids that don't go to church. It seems that I have been bombarded with the need from the TV, from other people, from my reading over the last few days.

Then I think of the needs the kids have in Africa. America has its problems, but at the same time it is so perfect. We have so much. Why should I stay where I can offer so little? I can offer so much overseas. I think this is one reason that the last few weeks have been rather hard for me. The though of not going eats at my soul.

All of this draws me to spend more time in prayer and seeking the face of God. My ultimate goal is to serve him however I can. My ultimate purpose: to bring glory to him in all that I do. Here or overseas.