Well, I made it back to my little apartment.

Right now, all I can think about is how thankful I am. I have an amazing family and amazing friends. All the wonderful things God provides for me. Not to mention I am healthy. Thinking back to how horrible I felt lest year because of all my thyroid problems makes me so grateful for all of those things normalizing.

This last week has definitely been a well needed break. However, now break time is over and it time to focus on the next few weeks. Basically, I'm going to have to be extremely focused until December 17th-the day my 20 page paper is due!

Well, tomorrow is the big day. CONFLICT! I have a big parent meeting and it is definitely one of those things where I wish I could just through my covers over my head and avoid it! God is continuously bringing biblical senarios into my head...when Jesus told his disciples not to worry when they went before the courts, he would give them the words to say...God blessing the work of Jacob and Joseph...how much I will grow through this...God's chance to shine through this...So, I must pray: Lord, may these parents tomorrow see you through me. May this situation point them towards you.

Well, it is almost noon and I've already had three appointments! Now am I ready for a nap! This last week has been super crazy...summary? Let's just say its involved angry parents, wrong buildings for class, crazy papers, naughty kids, and being locked out of the building my evening class was in, paper in hand, looking at the professor lecturing through the window, trying to decide whether I should knock on the window or wave....curious if I would get arrested for an attempted break in...and then trying to decide whether to laugh or burst into tears...so I did a little of both!

I'm so thankful that yesterday is over, and God has given me a new day! I was glad to have also made it to Bible Study today...last week I was too exhausted, but it was great to have that followship today.
We looked at John 7, and reflected on how Jesus' brothers didn't understand why he didn't go public with his miracles. Similar to Mary in chapter 2 perform the wedding miracle, even though His time hadn't come. His brothers didn't understand who he was or his real purpose.

Today I have been reflecting how true that is for me. I know what God can do. I see it first hand. Yet, I often try to force him (oh pitiful human that I am) to do what I think he should do. I want him to do his miraculous work were I want to see it done.

This week I am thankful to have made it to Monday! This last week was really busy with conferences and just life in general. Knowing next week is Thanksgiving break is giving me cause for celebration!

I finally finished my resume...now it is time to start circulating it. I have no idea when I am going to do this, but I need to start. I'm anxious to start the next stage in my life. I am ever so grateful that God has placed me here in Boise and at Middleton for now, but I can't wait to see what is in store next. For now...off to another night of budgeting. Aren't you jealous?

Yesterday I spent a few wonderful moments talking with the missionaries I worked with, John and Julie. I love them both dearly. After talking with them, all I could hope for is that God could bless me to work with them again overseas. Our hearts beat so much alike for God and for people that I can think of no greater priveledge than to work with them again.

So, I continue learning about God and seeking him in the future.

I've managed to return to my fav coffee shop...Rembrandts. I banned it for a while due to budget constraints, but it inevitable draws me back. Usually it provides a great people watching background...not to mention that occasionally I run into long lost aquaitances here.

Rembrandts fascinates me. I love it, but there are parts I am disturbed by. It is too utopian. It is perfectly old, yet perfectly new. The music is great for everone. Not to mention the advertisement on the door "Botox for books"...offering 100% of profits for your facelift to go to a worthy cause!

Yet I always come back. I love the art. I love watching and imagining I'll run into interesting people.

Perhaps I dislike the perfection and the fact it is a cheap substitute with how I would rather be spending my evening: with friends. However, the graduate life lends little time to fellowship. This portion of my life only has a few months left however! Then I am on to freedom!

These last few weeks I have found myself challenged by the Bible Study Experiencing God. SOme parts of it are really good. However, I find myself not completely sure if I agree with it. Mainly, I guess because it promotes the premise that it will always be obvious where God is working and when he is speaking to you. Yet, it seems there are many occasions in the Bible where God is talking and his people miss it. His disciples didn't get it for a long time. I have often found in my life that the path I am to take isn't obvious. Instead, I have to seek it.

I find myself in that scenario now. For years, I have struggled and fought to prepare myself to go back to Africa. Now, I am unsure if that is what God has for me next. My heart breaks at the thought of not going. Yet, I feel so drawn to starting some sort of childrens ministry...for the kids that don't go to church. It seems that I have been bombarded with the need from the TV, from other people, from my reading over the last few days.

Then I think of the needs the kids have in Africa. America has its problems, but at the same time it is so perfect. We have so much. Why should I stay where I can offer so little? I can offer so much overseas. I think this is one reason that the last few weeks have been rather hard for me. The though of not going eats at my soul.

All of this draws me to spend more time in prayer and seeking the face of God. My ultimate goal is to serve him however I can. My ultimate purpose: to bring glory to him in all that I do. Here or overseas.