April 28, 2007

This past week I feel like it has been a full out wrestling with God moment. Not so much in the Jacob sense. It is more like I am fully entangled with life, my desires, and his. At the moment I cannot tell where one ends and the other begins. This like week I really wanted to take a big step and finish my masters in one year. I was on cloud nine at the thought. It would mean I could go on the mission field in one year! Then I taught the next day and nearly cried. I thought about leaving my school, my coworkers, my friends, and all the work I've put into teaching these last two years. These thoughts were over whelming. So now I am in the midst of discerning what is my will and what is God's. Usually these decisions are made through prayer and fasting. Life has been so busy, however, that I've let my normal personal time with God falter, much less the extra time I normally spend when such decisions play on my mind.


On the lighter side, spring is here and my anticipation of summer is rising. Thursday night I walked downtown at 9:00 at night and it was perfect. It was warm with dusk just approaching. I relished the moment deeply. In addition the leaves have finally unfolded and the quaking aspen in our bake yard is shimmering in the spring breezes. It is at moments like these that I remember that God always gives some seed of joy during any time. You just have to look for it, nuture it, and watch it grow!